In related news, our very own Mister Dool went undercover for SwipeLife in search of the FYMW blogger. He writes: Early this morning we received an anonymous email in the SwipeLife inbox directing us to a trove of heretofore unreleased documents purported to be an abandoned WikiLeaks cable focused on an unnamed New York City-area mens style blogger. Our tipster reports the data collection and subsequent dump taken over the course of the last year since the blogger first registered his WordPress domain name were aborted due to the fact that only like, 50 people care about this sh-t. While we are currently cooperating with the CIA, Interpol and Michael Williams to confirm the veracity of these documents, we thought it prudent to release the information included in the cable to the general public, as it offers an unprecedented insight and sociological birds-eye view into the inner workings of the menswear blogosphere. Below, please find our analysis of the thousands of documents from our style blogger, henceforth referred to as Blogger X (as in X-tra crispy). More after the jump.
Blogger X is employed full-time by an online marketing agency, whose lax regulation of employee internet usage allows him to update his blog an average of 5 times a day with no professional ramifications. An email from X to his brother dated September 14 recounts how much of a dumbass X belives his boss to be and how he cannot wait until ad revenues on his blog pick up so that he can blow this hell-hole. His brother responded September 15, saying only cool.
Blogger Xs primary means of socialization and communication appear to be conducted online, with a demonstrated preference for the social media platforms of Twitter and Tumblr. In fact, a copy of his phone bill obtained by WikiLeaks shows that he receives an average of only 4 phone calls per week on his personal cell phone, most often from an Illinois landline registered to his mothers residence. He has but once reached his maximum monthly text message allowance in the past year since he began his blog, with 214 text messages sent and 152 received during the period of November 20-22, which coincided with The Pop-Up Flea.
[It is also worth noting that X's online statement from his Bank of America debit card shows that the night of November 21st was the first and only time he used his debit card in a dining establishment since July, when he charged $42.50 to his account for alcoholic beverages for two at Cafe Select. An email to his brother the following day confirmed the identity of his dinner guest as a female blogger in for the weekend from New England; X wrote that she looked perfect "from head to bean boot." His brother replied simply: "weird."]
The rest of his bank statement shows only transactions with eBay and other e-commerce websites, including J. Crew and Gilt Groupe, plus a rolling subscription to Netflix and the website Bang Bus. In stark contrast to his inactive social life, X takes great pride in the number of Twitter followers he has (829 at press time) and average daily Tumblr reblogs (immeasurable).
A G-chat transcript with a peer from September 12 reveals one of his favorite techniques to garner more mentions on Tumblr:
Blogger X: I call it the Wooster Booster Blogger X:
Much like taxi drivers all call every male passenger brother and my friend, menswear bloggers too seem to have developed their own ESL-like language, rapidly adopted by Blogger X and his cohorts. The aforementioned crispy is used to describe a look that is particularly stylish, while boss is also used frequently in his tweets to denote something worthy of attention. Despite the fact that the only people of color X and his peers routinely interact with are the Bronx-based style bloggers known collectively as Street Etiquette, much of their menswear-oriented discourse is derived from hip-hop culture. X regularly refers to his steez and others lack thereof, while 20% of his tweets from the month of November were actually just lyrics from popular rapper Kanye Wests newest album.
The one-upmanship and preening that pervades hip-hop culture has also leaked its way into the psyche of Blogger X. On October 4th, X began including a new photo in his email signature each day of the outfit he was currently wearing, taken by X himself from mid-torso down, presumably in an attempt to show how much more steez he has than his peers. This practice lasted only until October 6th, when his brother emailed him a request to stop being a d-bag. In an email exchange dated December 16 with a fellow blogger, X expressed dismay that a rival had posted a hi-res image of a newly-released neck tie from the Hill-Side before he had ample time to upload them. Minutes later, he also accused the same rival of posting an image of Paul Newman that he had found on Flickr without giving him proper credit. He then went on to suggest that he once spotted said blogger leaving the Hollister store, a veritable Scarlet Letter within the menswear blogger community. The rival blogger retaliated by unfollowing him on Twitter and sending thinly-veiled warnings about how men with only one pair of Aldens should not throw stones.
Much of Blogger Xs correspondence with other bloggers has been dominated by the search for the identity of the anonymous writer behind the satirical website Fk Yeah Menswear. X himself started the Twitter trending topic #whoisFYMW and speculated that popular actual editor Josh Peskowitz was the mastermind behind the site.
@BloggerX: Yo, Im going on record to say that Pesko is the man behind #FYMW
Unfortunately, Mr. Peskowitz is not on Twitter and has made no indication that he is even remotely aware of Blogger X, so he neither confirmed nor denied this charge. Several other guesses were proposed by Blogger X, but WikiLeaks own research into the matter finds that all of Blogger Xs suggestions were wrong and he has no idea who writes that site. (Ed. note: WikiLeaks editor Julian Assange has noted that a full WikiLeaks data dump on FYMW has been tentatively scheduled for mid-February.)
Blogger X also spends a great deal of time on a website known as Style Forum, but neither WikiLeaks nor I can make any sense of anything that goes on there, so we have omitted those 834 documents from this report.
Other themes that frequently surfaced throughout the remaining documents obtained by WikiLeaks about Blogger X include a rabid admiration for Gant Rugger, Michael Bastian and Japanese menswear magazines, a disdain for flip-flops in the city, and the private desire to one day have a real-life girlfriend. (Special nod to NYMag / Daily Intel for inspiring this post with their own WikiLeaks spoof.)